


What Happened In Engadine

by Anonymous



Category: Australian Politician RPF
Genre: Engadine Macca's 1997, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 16:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20548961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Scott Morrison shat his pants in Engadine McDonald's in 1997. Here's how I think it went down.





	What Happened In Engadine

**Author's Note:**

> i dont expect anyone to actually read this but idk anything about sports and im not about to learn

Scott Morrison walked into Engadine Macca's in 1997. He was big sad, big mad and big FUCK because his favourite team, the Cronulla Sharks, had just lost the Sports Grand Final. Scott Morrison cared about sports. He also cared about being a dick to refugees. 

  
As Scott "Violator of International Human Rights Agreements" Morrison approached the counter, he thought about how much he hated gay people. "I hate gay people," thought Scott Morrison, quietly, to himself. It was the '90s so this wasn't really controversial, but Scotty "The Coal Guy" Morison was a dedicated man, and kept up this belief even when it wasn't cool, or trendy. Like the Sharks, homophobia was a losing team that ScoMo continued to cheer for. 

  
Scott Morrisson ordered his Macca's meal. He made sure to get red meat specifically to spite vegans, although he was in a McDonald's so there were likely no vegans present, and if there were, they surely did not give a shit about ScoMo's post-grand-final meal. 

  
Soon, of course, they would. But for very different reasons than Scott "The Transphobe" Morrison thought. 

  
As Scott "Bad at the Economy" Morson consumed his sad, sad cheeseburger, he felt a strange feeling in his bowels. It was the cheesed burger coming back for revenge. Scott Morison didn't consider this because he is not a man of science, and continued eating the beesechurger. The churgebeeser had a Leftist agenda against ScoMo, and expressed this evil Communist anti-Australian agenda by continuing to exist as it was.

  
The tension in Engadine Macca's rose and fell like a conductor's baton. The music, glorious and discordant, sacred and profane, swirled through the Macca's. The doors of Scott "The Homophobe" Morrison's mind were all open now. All barriers were gone. In time, all curtains will drop. But time is money, and as previously mentioned ScoMo sucks at the economy. The Macca's employees, most of them teenagers, all of them holding their breath in anticipation of an event they did not and could not know of yet, stood frozen. All over the nation, people paused in solidarity with people they had never met, for reasons their mortal minds could not yet comprehend. Australia stood still, poised on the edge of - 

  
And then Scott Morrison shit his pants. 

  
Scorrison Morry shit his pants so hard that he left a giant shit stain on Australia. In some years, this shit stain would come to be known as the Adani coal mine. Jesus Christ, he loved coal so fucking much. God looked away, for he could not bear to view this sordid scene any longer. 

  
Short Mortician shat himself, and I cannot stress this enough, in Engadine Macca's. 

  
_Years in the future, but not many... _

  
_Scott "Shat his Pants in a Macca's" Morrison wanders Parliament House or wherever the fuck. He spies a sign indicating a toilet. It all comes flooding back. The Sharks' loss, the cheese hurger, the shame, the shame. It's like it happens all over again. And in a way, it does. Why, he thinks, should trans people be allowed to pee and poo in a toilet while he soiled himself in Engadine Macca's in 1997? He goes on Twitter. The wheel of history turns, repeats itself for a man who could not learn the first time. _

  
_Scott Morrisson flips a shit._   



End file.
